Success Tips for Singles who don’t have a date on Valentine’s Day … and really want one!
Success Tips for Singles who don’t have a date on Valentine’s Day … and really want one!
Society is filled with messages about what it means to be single and without a date on Valentine’s day. Am I loved? Should I have a date? What’s wrong with me since I don’t have date? What does it say about me? You may be a little in your head and thinking “everybody else is having fun and I’m alone”. Many singles feel are pressured and confronted….. even guilty.
Well lonely singles have no reason to fear this valentines’ day. Chicago’s very own author, speaker and – soul mate guy – is going to give some awesome tips on what one can do on or before Valentine’s day to help you bring love into their life when you’re ready.
1. Make the most of the quiet time and reflect : You’re not alone. Millions of people do not have a date. And millions of people who do have a date are not necessarily better off. So know this. Do not make yourself “wrong”. Valentine’s Day is kind of like April 15th is to taxes. Either you’ve been giving love every day and feel paid up. Or you are behind on giving love and owe. Or you are going to get back a refund. it really boils down to integrity.
2. Get clear on what type of relationship you want : If you’re sad that you’re not in a relationship today then determine what kind of relationship you want. Many people are simply not clear on what they want. This allows for any type of relationship to come towards us. Times change from our 20’s to 30’s to 40’s and beyond. In our 20’s we may simply want to date and have fun.This can include hooking up, short term dating and long term relationships. In our 30’s we may want to attract someone to marry. So there are several types. Do you want to simply date and get know people? Do you want a long term committed relationship? Do you just want physical intimacy? Or do you want a soul mate, marriage and a family? You get to choose.
*3. Clear away Your old romantic clutter : Get rid of old Pictures from past romantic relationships, Delete emails and cell phone numbers. Get rid of Lingerie , gifts , even wedding dress’s and wedding rings. You can’t create something new on top of incompletion. So clear away these items so you can start fresh. Once you begin to clear away this clutter possibility opens up in many surprising ways. Old boyfriends call. Old Girlfriends show up out of no where. New romances begin. You are energized and ready. If you can’t seem to get rid of all of it at once , then do it over time . Schedule to have your girlfriends and guy friends help you pack it up and get rid of it.
4. Take responsibility for your past love life: Make amends with your past romantic relationships and move forward. If things didn’t end to well in your last relationship then look at the role you played in that succeeding or failing. If you were a jerk then apologize. If they were a jerk then forgive them. Ask questions and put closure to it. Many times when people break up it really has nothing to do with YOU. Really. They were probably living out their own reality of how relationships should go. And it didn’t match yours. Write a list of people you need to get closure with in your Romantic lives. R elationships are a contact sport. Call them up . Get on the phone give it closure. It doesn’t get done unless you do it. It takes extraordinary effort. You are extraordinary. Everyone’s using cell phones but is anyone communicating?
5. Analyze and recognize your current dating habits : When you’re looking for a soul mate dating is temporary. Right? So there’s usually a pattern in how one dates. Do you date short term and get affection but never seem to get the one. Do you date long term and then it ends in disaster. Do you not commit to anyone? Do you not date at all? Realize what your dating patterns are and create new ones. If you are date ” em ” and drop ” em ” kind of person then go a little deeper into the count. See if something opens up. If you are near the end of a long term relationship and feel like you’re going to jump
ship look and see what obstacle you can over come . See if you can work it out.
Bonus Tips
6. Create a Soul Mate Resume : In my “Why Wait? Create Your Soul Mate Now!” book I have what’s called a Soul Mate Resume. Conventional wisdom says you have to create a list of what you want in mate. These methods fall short now. In order to get to what you want you must first determine what you don’t want. Once you get clear on what you don’t want then you can begin to create what you do want out of contrast. If you don’t want someone who cheats then what do you want? Someone who is faithful. Don’t want someone who is overweight what do you want? Someone who is in great physical shape. Don’t want someone in financial straights? What do you want? Someone who is well off financially and secure. Get a piece of paper and draw a T on it. Write Soul Mate Resume at the top. Write out a list of things you do not want in the left hand column . Then ask your self what you do want. Then in the right hand column write out what you do want. Contrasting your don’t wants. Then amp it up. Look at your wants. Take them to the next level. Turn over the paper and ask yourself what you’d really desire in a soul mate. Go to town on this. Feel it.Sense it. Be it. Put your emotions into it. Write this in detail.
This is intended to help you find your soul mate. But people report that they end up dating more people. People begin showing up out of no where. And Romance flourishes.
7. Get coaching or therapy : Many people feel embarrassed they need some help in their relationships. We think we can do it on our own. Guess what? Relationships are a contact sport. And having another person help you work through your blockages can be highly beneficial. I’ve found that most of the time people work through a few biggies and then someone shows up and they get married soon after. It works. So spend the money to do it. We’re in an educational crisis right now around relationships. We’ll spend 80,000 dollars on a 4 year college education but refuse to spend $125 – 250 a session with a coach or therapist. It’s preventative maintenance. Hey this stuff is going to come up sooner or later. And weddings and divorces are expensive.
8. Realign Your environment so you can attract Love : Once you’ve begun to clear your clutter out of your space then let the space breathe. Begin to put objects in your environment that appear as though you already have that person in your life. Two night stands, pictures of couples. A king or queen size bed.
9. Get creative! One big reason you’ve not attracted a date is because you are simply not putting enough creative energy or importance into your love life . You finally notice it around Valentine’s Day.
10. Get on the phone and out of your head. Talk to someone who is committed to your love life success. Not someone you can simply complain to and be let off easy. Get in touch with friends who will hold you accountable to finding the love you deserve. Find a couple who you admire and go on a date with them as a third wheel and experience who they are as a couple so you can get some of that!
About the Author…
Frank Polancic (often referred to as The Soul Mate Guy) is a dating coach, noted speaker and author of “ The Ladies Only Online Dating Teleclass – How to Choose an Online Dating Site That Gets You Your Man!” and “Why Wait? Create Your Soul Mate Now!”, an exceptional dating companion that combines the law of attraction, psychology, feng shui and other spiritual concepts to collectively break down barriers and help singles identify and attract their ideal partner.
His method is a powerful transformational tool to help men and women fall in love and live happily ever after…if you‘re not getting the results you want from online dating then call him at 312-286-4706 to arrange a private or group coaching call. www.createyoursoulmatenow.com
Filed Under: Frank's Blog
January 9th, 2010