Diving into Online Dating
Diving into Online Dating
Wash yourself of any preconceived notions regarding online dating as a last act of desperation. A great way to meet your match, online dating is a welcome change from being set up on blind dates and trying to meet people in bars or churches; and if you’ve been out of practice, it’s an easy, efficient way to dip your feet back into the dating pool. In fact, it’s become so popular that it’s now a fundamental resource for close to 20% of the singles population. That‘s right…nearly 1 in 5 of your single friends is using online dating services in the U.S., and that number is still growing. Check out the tips below to ensure that you start off this journey on the right foot!
Preparing for the Plunge
1. Before you dive into internet dating, determine what “success” is for you, and have a clear intention the type of relationship that you’re looking for…otherwise you‘ll be more likely to attract someone who doesn’t harbor the same goals. Are you just looking to have fun and meet some new friends (or perhaps friends with benefits)? Do you want a short term relationship? How about a long-term, committed, non-marital relationship? Or are you looking to find your soul mate, marry them, and live happily ever after? Whatever your choice, define what’s important to you, and stick with it.
2. Identify the traits that you are seeking in a companion. The easiest way to accomplish this? Identify what you don’t want. Then turn it into a positive by asking yourself “If I don‘t want this…what do I want?” So if you don‘t want a companion who is a liar, then by proxy, you want someone who is honest. This is called your Soul Mate Resume. (If you‘d like to learn more about authoring your own Soul Mate Resume visit www.createyoursoulmatenow.com and email me for a free step-by-step chapter on the process.)
3. Choose the right site for you. If you Google online dating, you’ll be overwhelmed with over 1300 options…so how do determine which will work best for you? Google your top 5 passions in conjunction with the phrases “internet dating” or “online dating”. If you‘re into fitness, search for “fitness + online dating”; if you’re spiritual, search for “spiritual + internet dating”; and so on. This will pull up appropriate dating sites that fit your interests.
4. Imagine how you’re going to feel once you’re with the right person. As was witnessed on Oprah, The Secret movie showed us that we get what we think about…it’s the Law of Attraction. So will it be love at first site? A whirlwind romance? Will you be stimulated and energized? Once you’ve latched on to how it’s going to feel, let it fill you and don’t let go.
5. Create a compelling photo by having someone (a friend, a professional photographer…whoever) take a candid photo of you when you’re being natural – at home, at a park, any place where you’ll feel relaxed and inspired. Take multiple photos and then send them off to your 5 closest friends or confidantes and have them choose their favorite two or three options…they’ll be able to view them more objectively than you will, and the good ones will continue rising to the surface.
Taking the Plunge
There’s only one tip needed here: be true to yourself, and accept yourself for who you are. Be honest and authentic on your profile…if you‘re 150 lbs, don‘t say you’re 140 lbs – even if you *think* you‘ll be that weight once you meet someone in person. If you’re 37, don’t say that you’re 32. It is wrong to mislead and deceive your prospective date, and yourself…be confident in who you are. Lies, even little white ones, are not a good foundation of any relationship.
In being true to yourself, keep your profile fun and upbeat by embracing your hobbies and quirks. If you like to smoke a pipe, don‘t hide it…let people know you enjoy it and why. If you‘re a Trekkie, convey your passion. Details like these will differentiate you from others, and your confidence will make you more intriguing.
After the Plunge
While waiting for Mr. or Mrs. Right, continually raise your standards by tweaking your Soul Mate Resume. When you start attracting some of the qualities you want in a relationship (but not the right person), you’ll know you‘re on the right track, and will just need to tweak your focus by revising the resume – creating what you do want, out of what you don‘t want. For example, if you found someone who was funny, attractive and wealthy, but was turned off by the fact that they had been married four times, then reword your resume to state that you are looking for someone who is ready for their first and only marriage – with you!
And don’t just stop there…be sure to look inward and continually update your profile, improving yourself, so you can in turn improve your results. Unless you change what you are putting out into the world, both physically and mentally, you’re going to keep attracting the same kind of person that you already know you’re not interested in. Only you are responsible for your results – not the dating service, not the self-help books – you. If you are clear about what you want, you‘ll get it…it‘s just a matter of time.
About the Author…
Frank Polancic (often referred to as The Soul Mate Guy) is a dating coach, noted speaker and author of “ The Ladies Only Online Dating Teleclass – How to Choose an Online Dating Site That Gets You Your Man!” and “Why Wait? Create Your Soul Mate Now!”, an exceptional dating companion that combines the law of attraction, psychology, feng shui and other spiritual concepts to collectively break down barriers and help singles identify and attract their ideal partner.
His method is a powerful transformational tool to help men and women fall in love and live happily ever after…if you‘re not getting the results you want from online dating then call him at 312-286-4706 to arrange a private or group coaching call. www.createyoursoulmatenow.com
Filed Under: Frank's Blog
April 20th, 2009